Cutie is 5mths old…! Really fast ya…! She’s growing real well…a very cheerful baby…

I’m going nuts…really soon…if there’s a stress tester with me now…I think my reading will hit the max…sigh…

Month of May didn’t go pass very well…Sweetie was sick for 2wks (the longest she ever had in 3 years)…she started crying for no reasons – didn’t want to go to playschool…her mood was up & down…round & round…she fell…it was not really serious but she kept complaining abt the pain @ her forearm…PD advised to go for X-Ray…which we did…thank God it was nothing…then for the whole of last wk she kept getting tummy ache (cramp like)…it lasted 2 to 3 mins…then its gone…went to see PD…most likely constipation…she did poo…but maybe not all clear…

Cutie needs to cry to sleep…its getting better than last mth but still crying…

My shoulder ache is on & off…more on than off…

Goodness…I’m so tired…

Last wk was terrible…a very tough wk for both Sweetie & me…I dun even know wat happened…

She woke up happily on Monday morning…got ready to go to school…my parents drove her to school…but something happened – but I dun know wat – she refused to go to class…she cried & cried…my parents were shocked…they didn’t know wat to do…Sweetie cried a lot…even threw her snack box & water bottle on the floor…it’s the 1^st time such things happened…! In the end…they brought her back home…

For the rest of the wk I fetch her to school…but it was no better…she still cry…dun want to go into class…but I made her go in…we stood outside the classroom for 1hr on Tuesday…talking to her coaxing her…finally I pass her to the teacher…she cried super loudly for nearly 10mins (I was still outside – heartache)…Wednesday came…same thing…stood outside the class for nearly 1hr…crying but softer…handed her to the teacher…& she cried…also very loudly…Thursday was better…stood outside the class for nearly 1/2hr…when I pass her to the teacher she cried for awhile…but stopped in less then 5mins…

I did ask her (many times) why she dun want to go to class…but she can’t give me a reason…I asked if any the teachers or friends ‘bullied’ her (although I didn’t put it across like tat)…but there was none…nothing different happened…why the sudden change…?!

It seems like a small issue…but its causing stress to me…I dun know wat’s wrong…& so I can’t ‘help’ her…it hurts me to see her cry…not wanting to go to class…but every time after settling down…I can see (they have a CCTV so parents outside can see wat’s going on in class) tat she’s enjoying herself…singing…doing crafts…playing…

Wat will the coming wk be like…??

Time flies…she’s 4mths already…

Continuing in the “Change in Perspective”…well…another major change I did was co-sleep…before I share more…I’ve to define my ‘version’ of co-sleeping…it means sleeping on the same bed…as in the baby on the same bed as the parent…some ppl define co-sleeping as sleeping in the same room…I dun think so…

When I had Sweetie we were staying with my parents…all 3 of us (husband + Sweetie + me) were sleeping in the same room…Sweetie was in her cot…beside our bed…she never slept on our bed…I made a choice not to let her sleep on the same bed as us cos there was no space…also I was afraid either of us might crush her…so for nearly 3 years she slept in her cot beside our bed…

Then Cutie arrived & we got our own place…husband & I discussed the sleeping arrangements…there’re 2 bedrooms at our new place…we decided its best for us to spilt…he’ll sleep with Sweetie – she on her bed & he on the floor…I’ll sleep with Cutie…its not really possible for all of us to be in the same room…cos Cutie’s cry will wake Sweetie…we can’t leave Sweetie in the room herself too…she has never slept by herself before (although some think she’s old enough to sleep by herself)…

Back to the topic of co-sleeping…due to the layout of the room…its not possible for us to put the cot beside the bed…so I have 2 choice…either I let Cutie sleep in the cot & I’ve to get up walk over to pick her every time she needs to drink or I can take the easy way out…to let her sleep beside me on the bed…which means co-sleep with me…I told myself why not give it a try…husband was also quite supportive…he asked me to try co-sleeping with Cutie for the 1^st few nites…well…one week past…then another…then another…we’ve shifted to our new place for more than a mth…& tat’s how long she’s been sleeping on my bed…

Actually…I’ve no regrets on choosing to co-sleep with her…it made my life easier…haha…I just have to turn around to feed her…also I can stretch out my hands to pat her / stroke her easily…anytime I want…

Well…want to share ur views on co-sleeping…?

I need help…well…not really the physical help – help…if you understand wat I mean…think wat I need is encouragement + support & so on…cos the whole of last wk has been madness…

Sweetie woke up last Sunday with a swollen eye…for no reason @ all…the eye just swell up…went to see a doc…the swell didn’t subside till Tuesday & then on Wednesday she had fever…not very high…hovering around 38.2 ~ 38.4…but its there all the time…not going down…on Thursday friends of fever came…she started having cough & runny nose…!! She’s very grouchy / cranky / touchy…I know its due to the illness but I’m having ‘problems’ too…my left shoulder has been hurting for few mths…its not an everyday thingy…just tat when it ‘attacks’ its really painful & the pain sort of travels to my head causing headache…

Cutie on the other hand ‘developed’ a “crying whenever she wants to sleep” habit…dun know how or why it happened…usually starts in the evening around 5pm+ when she wants to sleep…she’ll cry for around 5-10mins…the she’s fall asleep…& tat’s with us carrying her…I wonder how long she’ll cry if we left her on the cot…she’ll sleep for 1 or 2hr…wake up for milk…then cry herself back to sleep…then another 1 or 2hr later wake up (usually its 10pm+)…& after drinking & changing to PJ…she’ll start crying again & tis is always the loudest & longest cry…it has been going on for 2 or 3 wks…& its driving me nuts…I’m also worried if there’s anything wrong…I called the PD asking if there’s anything wrong…brought her to see the PD too…but there’s nothing we can do…its not even colic…cos she cries @ different times of the day…& she dun seems to be in pain…just crying & crying…*sigh*

So for Memory Monday I chose the verse

Psalm 121:1-2 – I lift my eyes to the hills – where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.

Cutie is 3mths old…

The arrival of Cutie caused quite a few changes in my perspective regarding parenting…well…Sweetie was my firstborn & naturally we wanted to ‘do it rite’…so we (rather I) tried to read as much as possible (before her birth even till now) to see how people ‘parent’ their kids…to gather as much ideas as I can…

There were a few topics tat I read quite a bit on when I was in my last trimester – “Schedule Feed or Demand Feed”…we went for the Schedule method…feeding her every 3hrs in the daytime but Demand feed when its nite time…Sweetie was very ‘co-operative’…she could stick to tis method…but Cutie…our dear Cutie…cannot & I repeat cannot follow tis method…! Weird rite…considering the both have the same parent…I went to the same gynae…they’re born in the same hospital…but their drinking ‘style’ is so different…guess tat’s why they say – No 2 child is the same – when she 1^st came back…Cutie drinks every 2hr…there were times she wanted more…she’ll cry for it…scream for it…let the whole world know tat she wants it…& I’ll rush to feed her cos I’m worried tat her crying will affect Sweetie…and so maybe tat created a ‘Demand Feeding’ baby…so for the 1^st mth…I’ve been feeding her 2hr-ly…which means 12 times per day…round the clock…it was really zapping my energy…but I continued also partly cos her birth weight was a little (slightly) lower…so I tot…let her drink more…feed…feed…feed…it went on till she was nearly 2mths old…then she stretched 1 of her nite feed to 3hrs…I feel so happy…haha…usually it’s the 10pm feed…so instead of drinking @ 12am…she feeds around 1am…abt 2wks ago (when we shifted to our new place)…some thing even better happened…she stretched another feed…so its now 10pm…1am…& 4am…I’m sooo happy…but…there’s another part to the story…after the 4am feed…she’ll wake up every hr to feed till 7am or sometimes 8am…which means I feed @ 4am…5am…6am…7am…ahhh….!!!…!!! I used to think schedule feed is the way to go…but I guess its not true…now I think as a parent I’ve to learn to be more flexible… as long as its not against our values (wat we believe)…I’ve to learn to adjust & see which method suits my child more & thereby meeting her needs… will share more abt the change in parenting perspective next time…

Wat abt u…? Do u feed on schedule or demand…or like me now – no preference…just go with the flow…

Today will be a new start for Sweetie…she will be attending ‘workgroup’ instead of ‘playgroup’…its daily (5 days per wk) instead of alternate day (Mon/Wed/Fri)…4hrs per session instead of 2hrs…

I have mixed feelings over tis…maybe tat’s part of the reason I can’t sleep (therefore here blogging)…u see…I’ve been with her 24/7 since birth…well…except the 3 mths tat I went back to work (after maternity leave) before resigning…from the moment she yells “Mummy open ur eyes – wake up”…till the moment I whisper “Darling close ur eyes – sleep”…we spend time reading…playing…doing crafts…on some days me putting up with her tantrum…other days she ignoring my grouchiness…now…she’ll be ‘gone’ for 4hrs…everyday…! I know…its good for her…she can learn more things…it’s a growing up phase…& I should be happy she’s improving…moving on from ‘play’ to ‘work’…but I’ll miss her…it seems like she’s growing up so fast…my little baby is growing up…

Someone told me…‘isn’t it good to send her to school for longer hrs? u’ll have more time to urself’…well…I rather less time to myself…cos like the song from Aerosmith – I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing…but I’ve been telling myself…its better for her…she’ll be able to learn more things & have few more friends…furthermore…she seems to be enjoying her lessons (tat’s part of the reason why I decided to ‘move’ her) & her teachers have been giving feedback tat she’s ready for the next level…so there’s no reason why I should hold back (except the missing her part)…

Well…see how things goes today…oh…as for the part whereby I can be free for those 4hrs…not true…cos I’ve a baby (Cutie) to spend time with & I think its important tat I spend as much time with her as possible…cos I already have a live example to show me tat time with them flies pass very fast…

Today is the 5^th day we’re staying @ our own place…well…for the past few days we were all in a mess…haha…husband & I didn’t plan to move in tis early…it was quite an impromptu thingy…we’ve been ‘visiting’ the new place for quite awhile after purchasing it…there was the renovation…we also slowly moved some of our things over…but we never set a date to ‘officially’ move over…husband & I talked abt it quite a few times…but we just can’t seems to decide on the date…the last few times very were here I did casually ask Sweetie if she wants to stay over…& her reply was either ‘No’ or she just kept quiet…I tot she was not ready…so we never push it…

But on 12/03…I asked her again if she wanted to stay for the nite…& to our surprise…she agreed…! We stayed…! She ‘solved’ the problem for us…hahaa…

Every morning…after getting up…drinking her milk & bathing…we drop by my parents place…hang around there…go out with them…till nite then we come back to sleep…tis has been our routine for the past 5 days…will take things slow…as there are still things we need to move over…& I dun want them to miss spending time with my parents…